God as Grandmother

 03 March 202

In her book Models of God, Sallie McFague asserts that the traditional models used to describe God need to be replaced by new metaphors that better reflect the context of the world around her. God's nature as simultaneously knowable and unknowable means that God-language is inherently metaphorical and paradoxical. McFague explains the use of metaphor as “an attempt to speak about something we do not know in terms of what we do know” (33). Throughout Christian history, metaphorical language has been utilized in efforts to conceptualize a God who is beyond human characteristics. McFague explains that These efforts have yielded a limited list of commonly employed traditional metaphors: God as King, God as Father, God as Shepherd, etc. Over time, these triumphalist, patriarchal metaphors have become so deeply ingrained in Christian theological teachings that we have forgotten that they are metaphors at all. As we begin to think of a metaphor as a description of God instead of as a comparison between God and something that is both like and unlike God, these metaphors become unhelpful to our understanding of who God is. Another reason that McFague finds that these traditional metaphors have become unhelpful is that they are anachronistic and fixed, belonging to a world that is unfamiliar to contemporary times. To remedy this problem, McFague believes that new ways of thinking and speaking about God must be constructed under the assumptions and needs of one’s own time.  

In order to create theology that is helpful to McFague’s time, she asserts that it should reflect a holistic reality that is inclusive of all forms of life and recognizes their interdependence. As a pressing issue of her time, McFague centers the acceptance of this new sensibility on the knowledge that we have the power to destroy ourselves and other forms of life. In the face of this nuclear issue, we must accept the responsibilities that come with the ability to harm the earth and our future. One reason that McFague thinks that humans need new models of God is that the traditional metaphors allow a sense of passivity toward the earth that leads humans to assume that a benevolent force will take care of the future. These models ignore the holistic vision and the nuclear threat of the current time rather than addressing them and using them as a context for theological construction. Although she maintains that all metaphors are imperfect and inadequate, McFague suggests that “we have to ask which one is better in our time” (70). As McFague sees it, some metaphors, namely those that are created with this new sensibility in mind, will be relatively better than those that are instead embedded in a triumphalist, monarchical, and patriarchal view of God. As alternatives to these traditional metaphors, McFague presents three models of God that are more appropriate to the needs of her time: God as mother, God as lover, and God as friend. 

As a model of God’s relation to the world, McFague finds quite a number of problems with the monarchical model of God as King. As a monarch ruling over His kingdom, this view of God puts Him at a distance from the world He created. No personal connection between the King and the people exists; royalty is deemed untouchable. Instead of interacting daily with His people, he instead operates in a separate realm of his own. As a King, God is viewed as primarily dominating and occasionally benevolent toward His kingdom. The asymmetrical dualism created by this view of God controlling the world through domination and benevolence makes it so that God is seen as acting on the world, not acting in the world. McFague says this dualism separates humans from a sense of responsibility toward the earth, which in turn “encourages passivity on the part of human beings” (68). Not only does this model espouse either domination of the world or passivity toward it, but it also only relates to the human world instead of all of creation. These aspects clearly conflict with the holistic, nonhierarchical attitudes that McFague sees as necessary to theology for her time. McFague also finds this model to be anachronistic simply because we have no king; on the most fundamental level, this model does not mirror the context in which we live or reflect a relationship that we are not able to understand from experience. Additionally, it is inherently problematic to assign the male gender associated with “king” to a God that exists outside of gender and the societal constraints with which we define it. 

In view of all of these problematic features of the monarchical framework, McFague offers a new understanding of the relationship between the world and God: the world as God’s body. Rather than being distant from humans in hierarchy and realm, this model allows for God to be felt everywhere through creation. This model calls for the honoring and protection of the earth, for that here sin against is the world. Instead of acting only on the world, this model enables God to act in the world with an immediacy and care that brings Him into our own realm. 

As reflected in Jesus’ death on the cross, McFague discusses how this model also “emphasizes God’s willingness to suffer for and with the world, even at the point of personal risk” (72).  Based on the mutuality, interrelatedness, and closeness that this model communicates, McFague believes that this model is far better for her time than the monarchical model. 

The new model that I suggest as a human analogy for God is God as grandmother. Although every individual’s experiences with and view of grandmothers will inform their understanding of this metaphor differently, here I am speaking of the general, common perception of grandmothers and the grandmother-grandchild relationship. This model reflects God’s nature as personal, nurturing, forgiving, and unconditionally loving. In contrast to the distance between God and humankind in the monarchical model, God as grandmother demonstrates an intimate, personal relationship. Grandmothers are greatly interested and invested in our daily lives; they relate to us not with a hierarchical attitude of superiority, but with the love and concern of a friend. The manner in which a grandmother uniquely merges the roles of mother and friend helps to reflect God’s desire to be a nurturing companion to His creation. Like God, grandmothers walk through life alongside us, holding our hand and leading us with guidance. I believe this image of humankind as God’s grandchildren is much more helpful in understanding how God relates to the world than the traditional, patriarchal models of God that paint a picture of God as dominating and controlling. 

God as grandmother also speaks to how God exemplifies a perfect balance between truth and grace. Grandmothers exhibit this dichotomy in how they typically are not afraid to tell you when they think you are in the wrong, but they are also more loving toward you than most, if not any, other people in your life. Grandmothers are just and fair, but they are also exceptionally gracious and kind. To develop a more clear understanding of the forgiving nature of God’s mercy, we can focus specifically on the side of grandmothers that is stereotypically bent toward grace. While mothers are known to be strict and punishing at times, grandmothers are notoriously light and gracious toward their grandchildren. Regardless of whether you deserve it, you can always count on a grandmother to extend mercy and forgiveness to you and even to act in your defense. In the same vein, the love that grandmothers have for their grandchildren is agapic in nature. The love of God as grandmother shows us the unconditional love God has for us – a love that is not based on circumstance or transaction. Much like a grandmother, God does not need anything in return from us, yet he still desires a relationship, honor, and obedience from us. Just like McFague’s description of the agape love of God as mother, the divine agape of a grandmother is not a “totally unmotivated, disinterested love,” but a love that is precisely motivated because of the value and worth it sees in you. 

In McFague’s model of God as mother, the inclusivity of the mother's love is rooted in its impartiality. Unlike McFague’s model, I believe that what makes the love of a grandmother special and similar to the love of God is the way they are partial to their own grandchildren. Grandmothers are constant advocates. They fight for what is in the best interest of their grandchildren. Even if they may have compassion and care for others’ grandchildren, it is the protection of their own that will always come first. Moved by self-sacrificing love, a Grandmother will do anything to ensure the prosperity and wellbeing of her grandchild. A common association with grandmothers, especially in the South, is that you will never leave their Grandma’s house hungry. Just in the way that God delights in providing for us, a grandmother delights in providing for and feeding her grandchildren. In contrast to the traditional androcentric models of God where there is a clear air of separation and dominance, imagining God as a grandmother allows us to highlight the approachable, arms-open side of God. In Matthew 11, the Bible describes God as “gentle and lowly in heart.” Grandmothers embody this heart in their humility and gentleness of spirit. 

Lastly, in many communities and media representations, grandmothers are sought out as sources of wisdom and comfort. To me, this is reminiscent of how some mujerista and womanist theologians discuss the custom of taking what you need from scripture. In making these stories their own, black and Latina women are able to discover hope and liberation in biblical accounts. Their view of the word of God is rooted not in the literal text of the Bible, but in the act of appropriating the Bible to fit their own experiences. In these communities, grandmothers may play an instrumental role in the passing down of religion and spirituality. As harbors of faith and knowledge, grandmothers personify the wisdom and guidance that we associate with God. 

In summary, God as grandmother reflects the intimacy God desires to have with His creation in relating to us as a nurturing companion. As the grandchildren of God, our shortcomings and sins are met with forgiveness and grace. Additionally, the image of God as a grandmother illustrates the generosity and gentleness of His agapic heart for humankind. The role of a grandmother within many communities and spaces is consistent with the view of God as a source of wisdom and hope. Considering how each of these aspects of God as grandmother illuminate the way in which God relates to the world, I believe it is more helpful to our contemporary understanding of God than the patriarchal and monarchical models that we have been taught to accept as truth.